Chemistry Test
by DeffyNoble
Summary: Cory, Lea and Dianna discover fanfiction, and try to get Ryan Murphy to write Faberry into the show. However, he needs some convincing...
1. Chapter 1

******AN:** _I know it's been eons since I've posted something, but this came to me at 2am and I couldn't let go of it (so forgive mistakes). I don't normally go for real life fics, but this will be an exception, and is more oriented towards the show relationships if you know what I mean. I guess you could call it a crackfic... It's not meant in total seriousness, and all characters are slightly more oblivious than normal. There will be four overall chapters if things go to plan..._

**Chemistry Test**

It was a rainy, cold November morning when boredom finally took a hold of Cory and led him to his laptop, where a combination of curiosity and mouse clicks led him to Tumblr, then to the Glee tag. He scrolled nonchalantly through most posts, cringing at a few manips and laughing at collective fandom thoughts when something caught his eye. He frowned, his mouse hovering over the tempting link. None of the Glee cast had ever read proper fanfiction before, having made a pact of sorts to abstain due to the weirdness of it, and how muddled it would make them when playing their actual characters. Just reading summaries was usually enough to addle Cory's brain, but this particular fanfiction was tempting him. It boasted a couple of hundred notes, and a seductive looking fan art to boot.

Was he going to go over to the dark side? It was strange enough thinking of reading Finchel fics, but _this_ sort? Well, it was simply beyond his proper imagination, which was why he was so curious, and why he had been sitting stock still, mouse hovering for the last five minutes. One little fanfic wouldn't hurt, right? It wouldn't change anything. He was bored, and it was raining.

Besides, he didn't have to tell anyone. It could be his little secret. Yeah, his dirty little secret.

*GLEEEELG*

"Dianna, you _have_ to see this, it's amazing. Ryan's been getting it all wrong."

"What are you talking about, Cory?" Dianna quirked her perfect lips in confusion. Her castmate was being even more enthusiastic than usual. She wondered what was riling him up this time.

"I've been reading fanfiction."

"You what?"

"You heard me. I've been reading fanfiction. Faberry ones to be exact."

"That's Lea and I, right? Why would you be reading –"

"If you read you'll understand. God, they're _so_ addictive. It's all clear to me now; Finn shouldn't be standing in the way of the green ribbon of fate. Quinn and Rachel have to hook up, get married, and… and… Fababies."

"…what."

"Just come over and I'll show you," Cory pleaded.

She sighed fondly. "Ok, I shall, but only because I worry about you. I'll just come and check that you're still sane and haven't started a Faberry cult circle."

"Awesome."

*GLEEEELG*

"Lea, you _have_ to see this."

"I'm sorta busy, Dianna."

"Doing what?"

"Saving horses."

"Well that can wait till later. This can't. Cory has discovered the most _amazing_ thing."

"Please don't tell me he attempted to count the number of licks it took to get to the centre of his Tootsie Pop again."

"No, this is way better, Lea! Everything's rainbows, unicorns and gay sharks now! I finally see the light emanating off of Quinn's pressed lemon, _and _I'm going to post about it on my Tumblr."

Most of what Di had said confused her, but the last bit gave Lea pause. It must've been legit if she was posting about it on her Tumblr.

"What is it?"

"Faberry fanfiction."

In the background, she heard Cory murmuring eagerly to the affirmative. Lea was miraculously silent for a second.

"But I'm a Finchel stan. You know that. And so's Cory."

At this, the man apparently felt the need to cut in. "'Cause that was all we knew. But things change, Lea. Rachel and Quinn are soul mates. I won't stand for the lack of chemistry between us any longer. We have to correct the show!"

"Please come over and read this source of our angst and complete and utter happiness," Dianna pleaded.

"No," Lea said.

"That's what Lion Quinn sa –"

"No."

"Bu –"

"No."

*GLEEEELG*

"Ryan Murphy I am appalled by your poor ship choices." Lea slammed a file on the man's desk. She was flanked on either side by Cory and Dianna, who had their arms folded and brows raised in an 'I'm judging you and your babies' sort of way.

"Whoa hold on here, no need for dramatics. Let's talk through whatever this is rationally and calmly." The man in question had barely battered an eyelid at their grand entrance. He was sitting in the same position with the same unimpressed expression plastered on his face as usual. "What's this about?"

Lea leant forward intently, hand over her precious papers. "In this file you will find the meaning of Glee, relationships and life itself. The three of us have printed a compilation of our favourite fanfictions for you to have a look at. They changed our lives, and we hope they'll change yours."

"Still don't have a clue what you're talking about," Ryan said calmly.

Dianna took a step forward. "Quinn Fabray is a pressed lemon."

The look she received was one of complete and total blankness.

"Rae-Rae is gay gay for Fabray," Lea tried. She smirked at her rhyme, but failed to inspire a reaction.

"I think what we're trying to say," Cory stated. "Is: have you ever considered writing a relationship between Rachel and Quinn in the show?"

"Considered? Of course I've considered. But if they're friends how are we going to get viewers to root for Finchel?" Ryan said.

"Um…" The blonde said. Lea turned to Dianna and noted her tiny frown, which meant shit was about to go down. She decided to intervene.

"Not just friendship. Have you ever considered writing an epic love story for Faberry, enough to rival that of Romeo and Juliet's, Tony and Maria's, Jack and Rose's, except with less death?" With this statement, Lea finally saw it all twig in Ryan's head.

"I'm a gay man; of course I never considered them."

"Uh, honey, I'm a gay man too, but even I can see the total hotness that is Faberry…. And the emotional depth their relationship could bring to the show, of course."

All four individuals in the room turned to see Chris Colfer lounging against the doorframe, looking as cute as pie.

"Ah, reinforcements!" Cory grinned.

"Glad I could make it," Chris said. "I read what you told me to. And I showed it to the others. It _is_ better than tacos. And that's saying something."

"Right… I see. I just don't understand why. We already have Brittana, we don't need another lesbian couple on the show." Ryan tapped his fingers impatiently on the hard wood surface of his desk. Lea was suddenly infinitely glad of their recruitment of Chris. If anyone could convince the boss, Chris could.

"Finchel is a toxic relationship in which a t-rex constantly has near misses in crushing a Jewish hobbit to death," Chris began. "Finn never defends his girlfriend, he doesn't match up to her intellectually, and dream-wise…. No."

"No?"

"No."

"Why Quinn though?"

"Quinn's smart. She understands. She's like a schoolyard bully who pulls on the pigtails of her secret crush. She supports Rachel in her dreams to escape more than anyone else. Also, they'd make amazing babies, or so I've read."

Ryan still didn't look convinced. "But neither of the girls are –"

Immediately both women jumped in.

"Pornographic pictures."

"Prettiest girl I've ever met…"

"I'm really not _that_ into that."

"…but you're a lot more than that."

"Look, just read the fanfics, and you'll be a Faberrian in no time!" Dianna patted the file on his desk, and with that, the group of four left the room.

They were called back the next day, and found Ian and Brad sitting by Ryan, the former two's eyes glued to a bunch of papers in their hands.

Brad looked up as the trio of Lea, Dianna and Cory trooped into the room, and began exclaiming, "Faberry is my new OT –" before Ryan cut him off.

"We've read your little fanfics, and we have come to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe Faberry could be worth our time."

"Yes!" Cory whooped, pumping his fist in a very Finn-esque manner.

"But!" Ryan said sharply. "First, you will have to prove it to us."

"How will we do that?" Dianna asked. She exchanged a stumped look with Lea, who then shrugged.

The 'R' of RIB stood in a slightly intimidating manner. The two girls fought the urge to back up. "I've been thinking long and hard, and I propose we do… a chemistry test."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** _Sorry for not updating earlier! Life got in the way, you know how it is. This hasn't been beta-ed, so forgive me for mistakes and clunky sentences. I'm sorta in a rush, as I'm leaving my computer for five (painful) days, and I just wanted to post this before I left. I know where this fic is going, but if you have any suggestions feel free to, well, suggest!_

**Chemistry Test**

_The 'R' of RIB stood in a slightly intimidating manner. The two girls fought the urge to back up. "I've been thinking long and hard, and I propose we do… a chemistry test."_

"If I wanted to do chemistry I would go back to school, or have a career change." Cory shrugged.

"It's not _that_ sort of chemistry test," Ryan said. "Also you're no longer involved in this, so none for you Cory, bye."

"Hey, if it wasn't for him we would never have been touched by the zest of the lemon," Lea said seriously. Ryan turned a piercing gaze to the pint-sized singer, which she returned in a lightsaber stare with equal force. Finally, Ryan nodded.

"Fine, he may sit in."

"So are we going to find out what this potentially dangerous science experiment is about?" Dianna chipped in good naturedly.

"We're not going to get launched out of Sue Sylvester's canon, are we?" Lea deadpanned.

"No," Ryan said. "Ian, you may explain."

At this, the man to the left of Ryan Murphy reluctantly put down the printed fics he had been avidly reading, and stood.

"There are three aspects to the chemistry test. You, Lea and you, Dianna, will have to portray your characters within these and prove to us that this is going to work. The first tests your singing chemistry. The second –"

"Shh no! We're keeping the rest a secret for now, in order to increase dramatic tension," Brad said.

"Well ok, but we will have to approve of what you've done in each round, in order to progress to the next. And at the end of the three rounds, we shall make a final decision. Savvy?"

"This is sounding too much like a new season of the Glee Project," Lea muttered. Dianna grinned.

"Are there going to be eliminations?"

No one laughed.

"This here is your sheet music for the first test. You'll be performing it tomorrow."

"Well at least I get to sing _something_," Dianna muttered, then frowned. "Hold on, we did 'I Feel Pretty'. Wasn't that enough?"

"We need to see you guys in a romantic context."

"Well you could've, if you hadn't taken out the 'gay'." Lea did a little head bob to emphasise her point.

"This is irrelevant. Sing or die," Ryan said. They stared at him for a second, before he gave a loud chuckle. "Just kidding. Sing, or Faberry will _never_ happen."

Dianna visibly swallowed.

"Ok."

On their way out, the blonde grabbed their sheet music, and upon surveying their material gave a small gasp. Lea and Cory whipped around.

"What? What is it?" Cory asked.

The look of disgust on Dianna's face was instantly replaced with what could be read as determination, or just a bad case of indigestion.

"I, um, they just gave us one copy of the music. Terribly irresponsible. I'll photocopy it for you Lea, and –and…. Meet you later."

They watched in slight consternation as their co-star quickly left the building.

*GLEEEELG*

It was the next day. It was _the_ day. The day that would start the determination of their fates. Lea knew this could be construed as her just being dramatic, but really, this was extremely important to her. She felt it was deciding something important in her life, and if they failed, Glee wasn't worth being in. Yes. She was so caught up in her thoughts, pacing back and forth backstage, that she jumped when a familiar voice rang out of nowhere.

"Faberry is so totally hot, Miss Michele!" The singer turned in alarm, to see Naya grinning at her from behind a curtain.

"Um, Naya, could you come out from there? It's kinda creepy."

The woman complied. "Sorry, just wanted to surprise you. I'm meant to be a 'surprise judge' for your performance today, so I'm doing my duty, y'know? I've already targeted Dianna. She screamed, and it. Was. Hilarious! Also, Chris showed me the fanfics. Phwoar! You two are nearly as smoking as Brittana."

Heather appeared from behind another curtain, looking very blonde and leggy. "Yeah, but the force of the gay is stronger I feel. I think it's the subtext. Also, I'm another guest judge."

"Is the _whole_ Glee cast a part of this?"

"No, just the gay ones," Heather said. She paused for a moment as Naya started coughing weirdly. "Ah, um, I meant the ones who _portray_ gay characters."

"Ok," Lea said, choosing to ignore her strange slip up.

"We've, uh, got to go take our judge seats now. Good luck," Naya said.

Heather leaned in close enough for Lea to smell her clichéd strawberry and vanilla scent. "We'll be rooting for you," She whispered, then winked, before striding off with her shorter castmate.

As Lea anxiously peered out at the stage, she caught sight of Dianna getting ready in the wings opposite from her. The blonde had a slightly nauseous look flitting over her perfect face, which Lea found odd. They had done this before. Sure, maybe not something in _this_ context, but they were used to performing in front of professional audiences by now. No matter, they were going to nail this. Then each other. In a fictional way of course.

As the chords of their song pealed around the auditorium, she smoothed down the skirt of her pink vintage dress, chuckling as Dianna did the same with her white skirt. The two girls stepped out, turning to face the blinding lights. If Lea squinted, she could make out the outlines of RIB, Naya, Heather, Jane, Chris, Cory, and Darren, sitting in a tightly bunched, very gay row.

The process she went through as she was about to perform was usually slightly strange, but effective. It began now, as she closed her eyes, sinking into the music, and tried to assume the character of Rachel. This required some settling into her thoughts.

_Big nose. Big nose. Pain face. Pain face diva. Pain face – _

_Jewfasa._

With this in mind, she took a breath, and started singing with her 'love'.

"_Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings. The world, for once, in perfect harmony, with all its living things_."

Eyes finally open, she reached a tentative hand out to grasp 'Quinn's', shivering a little as she found smooth, soft skin. The girl next to her began to sing.

"_So many things to tell her, but how to make her see. The truth about my past? Impossible! She'd turn away from me."_

_Somebody to Love, Somebody to Love, eyesex, Lion Quinn, EYESEX, _Lea reminded herself.

"_She's holding back, she's hiding, but what, I can't decide – why won't she be the Quinn I know she is, the Quinn I see inside?_"

It had been Dianna's idea to make these small adjustments to the lyrics, and overall, Lea couldn't help but be impressed by them.

_Eyesex time! _That little voice in Lea's head that updated her (especially when doing the Finchel scenes) tittered. She slowly turned her head, and saw Dianna doing the same. As their eyes met, that voice suddenly quietened, and Lea found herself relaxed as they repeated the chorus several times.

"_And if she feels the love tonight, in the way I do…_" Lea sang softly.

"_It's enough for this restless wanderer –_" Dianna took a step closer, and Lea found the air momentarily rushing out of her lungs, before they successfully wrapped up together.

"_Just to be with you._"

There was a stunned silence, broken suddenly by Cory cheering and clapping.

"What," Ryan cut over him. "Was that?"

Lea released Dianna's hand and crossed her arms defensively. "I'm sorry?"

Despite it having been put together under a day, she was sure they hadn't sucked _that_ much. The suck fairies living in her brain had failed to alert her in any case.

"You know very well what." Ryan had his 'I'm bored and in-charge' face on. "That wasn't the song we asked you to sing."

There was a light buzzing in the brunette's head as she struggled to make some sort of a connection, but failed. Dianna stepped forward.

"My apologies, that was me. I didn't think singing a duet version of 'Every Breath You Take' would be appropriate and true to character." She raised an eyebrow as fiercely as she could in a serial-killer Quinn impression, but still failed to cow the Murph.

"You changed our choice because you _disagreed_ with it? My colleagues and I thought it was extremely romantic. And lesbian."

"Yes, and so was Kurt stalking Finn, and Rachel in general, with every piece of meat, or –or vegan alternative that she catches sight of and– you catch my drift. Every Breath You Take is a _stalker_ song."

"I didn't think Kurt was very lesbian," Darren whispered not so softly to Chris.

The cogs finally clicked into place. "Oh," Lea breathed. "How noble of you Dianna, though I do disagree with your keeping it from me and not consulting me on alternate song choices."

"But it was a good song, you'll have to admit," Cory said.

"Yes, it was a fitting, extremely beautiful song choice." Lea giggled and grabbed Dianna into a hug, which she sank into because, well, because.

"I got the inspiration from that Lion Quinn thing – that cool fic with the Jewfasa, and that Strongcucumber chick who draws," Dianna said proudly. "Also, I really like the song."

"I loved that fic too!" Lea literally cooed.

"What a touching scene of insubordination," Ryan said. "But now the damage is done, and we have to decide where to go from here. Ian? Brad?"

"W—well, I r—really liked the song," Ian babbled.

"Me too," Brad said.

"I agree, it was terrible," Ryan said. "Mainly because I didn't pick it."

Brad's face crumpled. "Lies."

"I'm afraid this is the end of the line for you girls," Ryan said. Lea half-expected him to do an evil laugh. She couldn't believe it. How could this be the end? They had barely started. She turned to Dianna, only to find that she still had her serial-killer face on.

"How about we take a vote?" The blonde growled in a super sexy voice. A shiver worked its way up Lea's spine.

"I'm sorry?" Ryan absentmindedly said.

"How. About. We. Take. A. Vote. Democracy rules."

The guy with the yellow hat on frowned as if he had never heard of the word.

"Please Ryan," Brad begged.

"I'm not sure," the man in question said.

Ian piped up. "If not, I'll tell them all about that one time in the hot tub when—"

"Ok ok!" Ryan said. "We'll have a vote. Judges?"

They all turned to look at the 'surprise judges' who were, for the most part looking bored, and immersed in something very interesting on their phones.

"JUDGES," Ryan hollered.

As one, they jumped and quickly pocketed their devices (all save for Darren who had fallen asleep. Jane gently nudged him into wakefulness). Heather made a strange sob-whine noise.

"Uurrgh you ruined the part with the wedding, and Quinn and…and…"

"You're not reading what I think you're reading, are you?" Cory asked. Lea could have sworn his eyes suddenly looked a little teary. "'Cause I was reading it too and—"

"_Janey fucking Jansen_," the group chorused as one.

Ryan blinked. "Ok, let us return to business. We're taking a vote. All in favour of letting the girls move onto the second round, despite their rebellious and nauseating take on 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight', please raise your hand."

At the flurry of airborne hands, Ryan's face tightened. "Alright girls. Your wish is granted. But if you ever pull a stunt like this again, Rachel and Quinn won't _ever_ make eye contact again, let alone have a relationship."

A few of them gasped.

"Well now that's settled, we'll move onto round two."

"And what's that?" Lea asked.

"Dancing."


End file.
